Sonoma Still “A Bunch of Wimps,” Say Napa Winemakers

Napa Valley has long sneered at neighbouring Sonoma County. In the late 1800s, pioneers dismissed Sonoma vintners as “back-country folk.” Today, the Napa Valley Vignerons Association has updated the insult, officially declaring them “big wimps.”

“If you made wine from grapes called Pinot Noir and Chardonnay, you’d be a wuss too,” Napa hotshot Wes Bon-Temp told The Crush. “Those wines are delicate, ephemeral, low in alcohol—nothing like the kick-ass bottles we make here.”

On her Cybertruck bumper, consultant Erin Peterman sports a sticker reading: I Hate Sonoma. “It’s a joke, because I actually live in Sonoma,” she whispered conspiratorially. “But they really are a bunch of kombucha-chugging yoga moms who think pét-nat is a personality.”

Speaking anonymously from the Meadowood locker room, one vintner hawking $450 Napa Cabernet offered the most candid take yet: “Sonoma wines are fine for picnics, but when you’re ready to grow up, you drink Napa.”

Cristaldi & Co.

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