Sober October ‘Going To Suck Fun’ Out of Police Checkpoints

Law enforcement officials across California warned this week that “Sober October” is expected to devastate morale at DUI checkpoints statewide.

“Normally, October is prime time—we’re talking pumpkin spice martinis, Oktoberfest steins, and the odd wine club pickup gone wrong,” said CHP Sergeant Dave Malt. “But now? All this 'Sober October' crap is going to suck the fun out of our checkpoints. We’re bracing for a month of breathalyzers that smell like LaCroix.”